Understanding what needs drives us, the ones that we are trying to meet in any giving moment, can help us identify old patterns and give us the opportunity to create new ones that will lead you to lasting fulfillment.
You will 1 or 2 needs that will shape the direction of your life.
The first four needs are the needs of the personality or achievement – the remaining two are the needs of the Spirit.
The first four are the needs of the personality or achievement and are:
1. Certainty: A guaranteed outcome that will evoke a move away from pain or toward pleasure. It’s our need to feel in control and to know what’s coming next so we can feel secure. It’s the need for basic comfort, the need to avoid pain and stress, and also to create pleasure. Our need for certainty is a survival mechanism. It affects how much risk we’re willing to take in life—in our jobs, in our investments, and in our relationships. The higher the need for certainty, the less risk you’ll be willing to take or emotionally bear. By the way, this is where your real “risk tolerance” comes from.
2. Uncertainty/Variety: the desire for constant change, stimulation; excitement, challenge, chaos. Do you like surprises? If you answered “yes,” you’re kidding yourself! You like the surprises you want. The ones you don’t want, you call problems! But you still need them to put some muscle in your life. You can’t grow muscle—or character—unless you have something to push back against. The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the amount of uncertainty you can tolerate.
3. Significance: the feeling of being important, seen as unique – an individual; feeling special, pride or worthy. We all need it. How we create significance in our lives is the difference. You can get significance by creating bigger problems than anyone else. or by being more or pretending to be more than others. You can get it in a positive way or a negative way.
4. Connection/Love: a relationship or strong feeling with another person;approval, intimacy. Love is what we all want and need most. When we love completely we feel alive, but when we lose love, the pain is so great that most people will settle on connection. You can get that sense of connection or love through intimacy, or friendship, or prayer, or walking in nature.
Certainty and variety are paradoxes to each other. If there is an imbalance in one you will experience a want for the other.
Significance and love/connection are also paradoxes and too much gaining one over the other will cause a loss of the other.
The final two needs are those of the Spirit and are:
5. Growth: knowledge seeking, path of self discovery, expansion;spiritual expansion. You know the old saying; if your not growing, your dying. Look at the areas of your life. Are your relationships, business or you growing? If they are not, you are not going to experience real fulfillment. We grow to give value to others.
6. Contribution: strong sense of service and supporting others; protect & serve. The secret of living is giving. Life was never about you. It has always been “we” and that very fact is that we need each other. To create real meaning in your life is to give of yourself beyond yourself.
Growth and contribution provide the framework for fulfillment and happiness in our lives. Everything either grows or dies and contributes in some way. We learn that when we remove something and break the connection. Nature is the perfect place to observe this. (For an interesting example: “How the reintroduction of wolves, saved Yellowstone.”)
I have personally seen with myself and with others, how these needs do shape our lives and particularly in relationships.
With a deeper understanding and knowledge base, coaching will enable you to tweak and adjust accordingly to transform you towards a more authentic life with emotional freedom and greater well-being.
There is no obligation, no signing up to anything. Cloe Madanes, who developed the test has made this available to anyone.
Once you have completed the test and have your results, why not set up a complimentary coaching session to explore deeper into those results.
By understanding your highest human needs, you will know the “why” in those decisions that you make. Knowing why or discovering repeated patterns is the first step and the key step in shifting your paradigms.